I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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