Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He passed out mid-signature
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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