i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
