Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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