I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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