i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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