I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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