No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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