just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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