if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Houston, we have a squirter
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
