mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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