he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
