its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
then he tried to convert me to islam
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
please don't ironically join a cult
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