Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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