he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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