Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have aggressive nipples.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
