i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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