The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
