im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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