and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
