Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
