so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
