when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
