he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
