You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
