We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
