Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
