Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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