i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
