Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
