But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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