You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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