Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
