yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
