Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
