dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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