wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
