i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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