how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
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I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
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He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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