The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
