best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
