Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
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While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
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Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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