i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i came on her dog
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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