he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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