is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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