And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
