another moral hangover. fuck.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Alive.
So much puke
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My vagina just clenched in fear
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
