david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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