I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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