I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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