Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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