He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
