There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
