if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
