No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
