I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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