She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
